Healing the Masculine

As I sit down tonight to write, I am very aware of what means to be a man in today's world. How few role models there are, and how few there have been. Of the disowned, disembodied power, of the disconnect from the emotional body, of the limited relational and intimacy skills, of the shame, suppression, and often misdirected sexual energy. I see and have seen these aspects of myself, and in probably every man I've ever met. I have seen many men struggle with addiction, with a sense of powerlessness, with relationship, with homophobia, with right livelihood, with identity, and with purpose.

I have been struggling lately around my own purpose and coming from my authentic depth, and I realized tonight how terrified I am of fully stepping into my full power and potential. One on hand, I recognize what I am here to do, and sense the wholeness of who I'm becoming and destined to become. On the other, I just want to run and hide. Abort the mission. Go deliver pizza, have light, casual relationships, watch TV, and play video games.

Yet, I have been choosing to keep stepping into my purpose and power. It has been a long road, and I have taken many steps thus far. Now, it's time to jump, to take the leap of faith, to divine in as far as I can.

In the face of this choice, I feel angry. Angry at God, angry at myself, angry at all the people and situations that I've had to overcome. The questions comes up, "Why me? Why the fuck do I have to do this?" Sure, I have a choice, but I don't really. When truth comes knocking, when spirit calls, I know that I need to answer, that true satisfaction and happiness comes from listening to and living that deep knowing of who I am and why I'm here.

In the face of my fear, in the face of my anger and resentment, I will continue to choose this love. I am passionate about serving men. I am passionate about our awakening, transformation, and embodiment of essence. I am passionate about creating and embodying a healthy, whole, integrated masculine. I am passionate about healing the disconnection between the masculine and the feminine. I am passionate about being alive, awake, present, ecstatic. I am passionate about honoring and aligning our sexuality and spirituality, of unifying heaven and earth, and of the embodiment of God. It's time to bring it all forth, and so it shall be.

Amen.