To write or not to write . . .

Well, I suppose the fact that there are words here answers that question, but I've felt somewhat ambivalent about putting some words down tonight. Lately, I've been content to simply be in the experience of the now, rather than needing to write or even talk about it. In this space, there isn't all that much to say, and it feels good to be more in the silence. However, something in my being appears to be wanting to be expressed, so here goes . . .

I suppose what's been on my mind lately is my connection to nature. Most people in my life now don't know this, but my bachelor's degree is actually in Natural History from an Indigenous Perspective. Translated, that means that I studied nature from the perspective of someone who was living off the land 500+ years ago, as opposed to a scientist sitting in a lab looking at a plant under a microscope. My studies included things like ethnobotany (including edible and medicinal plants), animal tracking, understanding and interpreting bird language, basic survival skills such as starting fires with sticks and making shelters from scratch, predicting weather, and so on. It involved a direct relationship with nature, one that required opening and using the senses, slowing down, listening, and communing. Rather than simply being an observer, I wanted to relate with the natural world. This path was an essential part of my life and my spirituality, and yet it somehow became diminished over time.

As my connection now to sexuality, spirituality, and eroticism is expanding and deepening, and as I continue to work with men, I am reminded of and drawn to re-establish that connection and relationship. The natural world is so inherently sensual and erotic, and in it I find it impossible to deny the existence of God. Whether it's in a plant or flower, the sun, water, or a bird, there is so much beauty and mystery to witness and behold. It is so much a part of us as humans, and yet most of us have lost and forgotten this essential connection.

Nature has so much to teach us: slowing down, and moving at a more easy, intuitive pace; using the senses and being sensual; listening to and following the organic order of things; being in stillness and silence; being free of judgment; paying attention; relationship,interconnectedness, and interdependence; gratitude; respect; patience; presence; connection to life and aliveness; and so much more . . .

As I've been taking more time lately to get outside and walk in the woods, I find myself becoming more human. I feel God most strongly in nature - in the air, in the smells, in the trees, in the sound of the birds. With each step, I find myself slowing down. My mind begins to relax. My senses awaken. My body opens. My intuition and inner voice becomes easier to hear. I remember who I am, and where I've come from.

If we are on any kind of spiritual path, it is important to include the natural world as part of our practice. It is the root, the foundation of our existence. It is where we meet life at its most raw, simple, essential, and vulnerable. It is where all seekers have gone for answers and inspiration. It is where we can remember who we are; free of the distractions of society and artificial culture, we are faced with ourselves and the divine. Try living solely off the land for even a couple of days and you'll get a real sense of what life is about, what is essential; there is no greater teacher.

Tonight, I give thanks for the natural world; for the fibers used to produce my clothes, for the food I've eaten today, for the wood from the trees that give me shelter, for the flowers and birds that inspire me, and so much more. I am grateful for this relationship and connection, and excited to reintegrate it into my life.