Coming Home to the Stillness

My first morning in New York, the place where I grew up, at my mother's house just outside of the city. It is cold, clear - I hear the planes flying and the traffic outside. There is always such a different vibe to being here, a different culture, a different way of being. I felt it when I landed, and I feel it now. There's something about coming home, being home, feeling the experience of home. It is more than a place, it's a feeling, a sense, a touchstone and foundation for the soul upon which to build, create, and explore.

I awoke at 5:45 this morning (2:45 Portland time!), and couldn't go back to sleep. Normally, this is highly unusual, but not lately; this has been happening every morning for the past week or so. Awakening to the silence, the stillness, the time when everyone is still sleeping. Despite the feeling of fatigue, a deep sense of calmness and clarity has been present during this time, an opportunity to connect closely with my soul and listen to hear what it has to say. To know and reconnect with it.

As I spiral down, as I descend to my core, as I listen to the words of my soul and the voice of spirit, a calmness is emerging, a stillness. I suppose emerging isn't the correct word; it's more like a resting, an effortless drop and soft landing into the eye of a storm that is passing and moving on. A sweet surrender. I know myself here. I feel myself here. It is quite peaceful.

As I connect with this place and rest in it, I look out at the passing storm and what it is carrying away. The lies and half-truths I've told myself, the ways I've given up my power, the ways I have not been in integrity with my deepest knowing and purpose, the avoidance, the fear, the insecurity, the lack of faith and trust in myself and in God. I make peace with it, honor it, and bid it goodbye. In its wake, I find my purpose. I find myself. I find God. I know who I am and why I'm here. It is time. 

Let us all begin to remember. Who we are. Why we're here. No more pretending, no more superficial distractions, no more lies. What is the real work right now? What is crucial? What really matters? What will make the difference? Where does the healing need to occur, and what is the medicine? 

It is up to each of us to wake up to these truths and live them as best we can. It is time to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. To reconnect with the soul and bring it back, bring it forward, bring it into these times, this culture, this planet. The world right now, in all the pain and suffering, is crying out for its return. It is time to come home.